Nature Is Out To Get You Because That's Its Nature

I knew that stingrays are evil but pelicans - who knew? In Disney movies, pelicans are always the most pleasant of the characters and when you see them out in the wild (which is pretty rare in the Baltimore/Washington DC area) they always seem to just be peacefully skimming across the water, occasionally dipping their beaks to skim up some unsuspecting, low on the food chain fish. However, it turns out they are just as sneaky as those stingrays. I guess we will have to start wearing football helmets on top of our aluminum foil beanies to deter incidents like this:

Woman Attacked By Pelican 

Debbie Shoemaker was attacked by a pelican when she was visiting Treasure Island.

TREASURE ISLAND - A woman swimming in the Gulf of Mexico is recovering from a pelican attack.  Debbie Shoemaker visits Treasure Island every year from Ohio.  Thursday, she was splashing around in the water when the bird appeared out of nowhere. "It was like somebody took their fist as hard as they could and smashed it into the side of your face," Shoemaker said.

Shoemaker said she was terrified.  There was no one in the water swimming nearby as she screamed for help.  Some people on the beach called 911. Shoemaker called her close friend in Tampa from the hospital. "My first thought was a sting ray or a jelly fish," Barbara Hatcher said.

Shoemaker had to have 25 stitches to close the three-inch gash in the side of her face.  She says doctors had never seen anything like it. "The event just keeps happening in my mind over and over and over," Shoemaker said.  "It could've gotten my eyes. It could've gotten my throat.  It could've knocked me out in the water."

Shoemaker returned to Ohio, where she may face plastic surgery.  She hopes to have her stitches removed Wednesday.