They Fly Through The Air With the Greatest of Ease - Till They Hit You in the Face

It's not enough that vicious stingrays stalked that alligator guy and killed him, but now they are hunting down women from Michigan on vacation and leaping out of the water to attack and kill them.  Be afraid, be very afraid - and don't listen to those PETA wackos. Wrapping your head in aluminum foil is not enough - you need to be much more careful. Before you get in your car, look in the back seat and under the car. In your bedroom, sprinkle Wye River seasoning under your door, as those sneaky suckers can fit right under even the mostly tightly locked door. If your doorbell rings late at night, don't fall for the old "candy gram..... land shark" scam - hide under the covers, hold your breath and don't make a sound. Sting rays have short attention spans and will soon go next door. Phew.